Kevin Smith's Blue Balls.. ER I mean "Red State"

I’m so sorry I have to write this, fellow Kevin Smith lovers. And I preface by saying, I think he's brilliant.

I had such high hopes for this film, mainly because Mr. Smith did all he could to make it on his own. I also love his sense of humor and sweetness about his usual work. He's bold without having to shine his brass. He's crass, and old ladies will still pinch his adorable cheeks. He’s a trooper and one of the boys from the neighborhood who made it big. It’s nice to know a regular guy can nowadays.

That being said, this is not his usual work.

Me and the hubbster just sat on our loveseat WAITING... BEGGING for something absolutely insane to happen. But it never did. Okay, we can write a script and describe characters, said characters getting involved in a hairy scene all day. But it all just turns into some branch dividian news soup that ends up with no real resolution. There’s no point to the story, not even telling a story. It’s almost like he took a blender and tossed some names into it, turned it on chop, and then wrote down where the parts ended up when he opened the lid and dumped it. (I am not even going into the political satire here, because you can take it or leave it from the equation, the answer is still the same nothingness sphere of zero). It's regurgitated news, reheated, and plated to look like today's fresh lobster bisque.

The trumpets of Gabriel gave one small inkling of a hair raise. Wait, maybe some gruesome archangel will come and mash them all. Dare I say, I prayed for the Affleck to save something in his Bartelby gear? (I just puked in my mouth a little saying that). But then the credits rolled after no satisfaction was delivered. It was sudden and not graceful at all.

After the DVD was over I re-read the synopsis on the Netflix sleeve in disbelief. I still can’t believe the words “Kevin” and “Smith” are typed on it in ink. Twice.
I never saw Jersey Girl, so I am going to say this is his mimzy; hopefully his last.

I give this film 4 blue balls.